Permission to Value Yourself

By Blake D. Bauer

It’s a new year, already, again. How quickly did the last one pass us by? Three questions that put much into perspective are:

1. How much did I value myself, my time and my energy last year?
2. If I were to value myself fully today in the present, and each day moving forward, what would I say and what would I do? 
3. How would I be living if I valued myself and my precious time on this planet?

As we walk into 2023, we all can use a reminder that no one can give us permission to value ourselves; to speak, act, live and be in ways that are fully true and kind toward ourselves. Each day, in each situation, you have to be the one to say that your feelings, your needs, your calling and your health matter. Everyone is selfish and it’s ok for you to be selfish in healthy ways too, because this is what will support you to feel well within yourself and then have the resources to be of benefit and show up in healthy and sustainable ways for others.

The next important question is: How Do I Value Myself?

Valuing ourselves is a practice, just like cooking or meditation, and the more you do it, the more skilled you become. These are the key habits and topics to focus on and master:

• Express yourself as honestly and kindly as possible in each situation.
• Act in alignment with your true feelings and needs.
• Take time a space for your self-care and to simply be, each day and week.
• Take care of your mind. Meditate. Count your blessings. Focus on what you want. 
• Value your time and energy by saying no to things that do not feel healthy and yes to things that make you feel alive and well.
• Take care of your physical body.
• After your own self-care…. Give, help, love, how you can, with what you have.

Today is all you have, so please don’t waste your time and energy blaming, complaining or beating yourself up. You need this mental, emotional and physical energy to focus on the points above. Read and research everything you can find on them. 

We can’t value ourselves in the past or in the future

It’s something that can only be done in the present. The above points represent exactly what you need to do. What gets in the way is our thoughts and emotions associated with fear, guilt, shame, insecurity and self-doubt.

It’s easy to see why we might not trust ourselves or trust life wholeheartedly when we reflect on how we’ve treated ourselves for much of our lives. Too many of us only learned how to be self-destructive and horrible to ourselves, rather than being our own best friend. Too many of us have gotten used to hurting ourselves and allowing ourselves to be mistreated.

If you think about how often you might have betrayed yourself, abandoned your feelings or needs, rejected or neglected your true self, or criticized and put yourself down as you were figuring things out, I think it becomes clear why we don’t trust ourselves. If you think about how many times you’ve allowed yourself to be disrespected or unappreciated, this should clarify your own distrusting relationship to yourself even more.

The key breakthrough we’re all looking for arises when we start doing things differently. It comes when we value ourselves today even though we’re scared and uncertain. Trust grows inside of us each moment and day that we are true, kind and good toward ourselves.

Over time, this practice of self-care and self-love literally eats and transforms the blocks that have been holding us back. But we have to give ourselves permission to speak, walk and live our truth, even if it’s messy and unclear. Even if we’re sacred and shaking, we have to say our feelings, needs, calling, and health matter.

No one would consciously choose for their suffering and heartbreak to be in vain, for nothing, so make sure you work on valuing yourself more today, and more in this new year. By showing yourself that you matter to yourself, you can and will make all the struggle worth it. You will experience more peace, more joy, more connection, and more self-respect.

The secret is to stop betraying yourself and stop neglecting your health

Stop allowing yourself to be the victim of fear-based thoughts. Meditate and work on training your mind. Say what you need to say, and act in integrity. You are so much bigger and stronger than your fear, shame or guilt. The loving truth inside you is so much more powerful than fear and dis-ease. 

This life and your existence really are miracles, and the more you focus on the above practices, the more you will see and feel this vividly each day. The more you value the real you, the more the people in your life with value the real you too. The more you honor and respect the real you, the more other people will honor and respect you. The more you value yourself and your life this year, the more your body will thank you with health, your mind with peace, and your heart with joy.

Here’s to you mattering more to yourself in 2023.

Here’s to your health, happiness and peace.

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About Blake D. Bauer