Rise to Meet Difficult Times: Your Practice Makes a Difference

By Rhiannin Bunney

 

Recently I had the distinct pleasure of watching a coworker take their Refuge Vow.
It was not the first time I had seen a refuge vow, and hopefully won’t be the last. But it stood out. Not simply because of who was receiving the vow, or even the fact that we were inside the Great Stupa of Dharmakaya, but because of something Gelong Loden Nyima passed along to those in the ceremony, and those watching. 

I won’t get the exact wording right, so please forgive the lack of quotation. He was speaking on the change that comes with taking Refuge, and the changes that have likely already happened by the time someone wants to take Refuge. The mark of meditation. The mark of someone who works with their mind. The invisible calling card so many of us bear. The silent signal that tells other meditators who we are, and helps us find one another. The shared experience that, at the very core, creates our sanghas. Our global sangha. 

The idea of being marked by meditation, identifiable, was a bolt of lightning. A flash of clarity where, for me, there had been darkness and obfuscation. A part of me had already known, but not recognized or understood that knowing. 

There is a quiet, grounded, spaciousness to those experienced in our practice. It is similar, but distinct, from other marks I have learned to spot in others. The mark of the highly empathetic, the mark of the intellectual, the mark of natural connection – but the mark of a meditator is a bit different. To be a meditator requires intention and purpose. It’s not something that most of us will stumble into naturally, especially in today’s fast paced world. 

What Pulls Us Away From Practice?

 

Culturally, most of us are pulled in many different directions. We work, have families, have friendships, have responsibilities and hobbies and a thousand things on our personal to-do lists. We also walk around with an incredible source of distraction in our pockets. Smart phones are amazing tools for connection, learning, and information. They’re also addictive, distracting, and a tool that pulls us out of the now. 

The act of slowing down, narrowing your focus, and experiencing the present, is a radical act in these times. 

Radical perhaps not in the sense of being something extreme, but in being so out of the norm and against expectation that it’s an act of resistance and ownership. Resistance of the many distractions and expectations of modern life. Ownership of our own experience, internal connection, importance, and privilege. 

One of my coworkers here, our Deputy Director, Chase, has a confounding and profound way of talking about the difficulty of samsara and in the same breath admiring the amazing fact that we are in a position to do something about it. That we, living here and now, can take agency, can work with our minds and ourselves, and that we are privileged enough to seek enlightenment. (Though he’ll probably disagree with my use of the word privilege when he reads this.) 

Being a meditator is something you choose. Something you work toward and maintain. It’s often silent, unrecognized, and misunderstood. Many people come to meditation with the idea that meditation is an inherently peaceful practice, not one that can be challenging, igniting, life affirming, difficult, and yes, sometimes peaceful. The choice to meditate, the choice to come back to practice, to maintain practice, to hold on to stillness, presence, and now, marks you. 

And then life comes back in and all of those distractions try to steal your attention and presence. We live in a time where so much of what we interact with, what we buy, the tools we use, the media we watch is competing not for our money, but for our attention. What we receive is varied, but what we give is time, emotion, and thought. 

That also makes meditation practice, your practice, radical. 

It is the intentional choice to live in now, instead of letting other people curate your reality. 

The Mark of Meditation

 

The mark that Loden was talking about struck me in part because it’s something I’ve seen. Not only here at Drala Mountain Center, particularly in our teachers and long time practitioners, but also in daily life. The people who are obviously grounded. They feel unshakable. They are often quiet and composed even when others are upset and reactive. You might run into someone marked this way at the grocery store, at work, in the gym, or almost anywhere in life. You’ll know it when you do. 

Those qualities aren’t the only thing that makes practice important. But they are particularly important and transformational in times of turmoil and change. When our world and culture are most likely to call you away from your practice is when it’s most necessary. 

Now, psychologists and wellness practitioners of all stripes will tell you that your practice is particularly important when you are under-resourced, stressed, and experiencing turmoil. It is personally beneficial to practice at these times, and can help you navigate the stress. 

The personal benefits aren’t the only reason practice is important in difficult times. 

The mark of meditation is another reason. The groundedness. The calm. The centered certainty, no matter what comes. The space between reactivity and responsiveness that lets us choose our paths instead of being whisked along it. 

When we encounter difficult times, as individuals and societies, we need people who can hold to the present moment. We need their example. Their calm. Their nowness. 

Your example. Your calm. Your nowness. 

This might be going back to basics, but, when I think about the noble eightfold path, right view, right intention, right speech, right action, right livelihood, right effort, right mindfulness, right concentration, I think of people marked by their practice. There is alignment in themselves and in the moment that allows them to navigate with a grace and compassion that’s profound, regardless of the situation. 

Grace, compassion, and certainty, these are the things we look for in difficult times. People who are doing the right thing, as best they can, with kindness, understanding, and composure. 

You benefit from your practice. So does everyone around you. 

Growing up I loved fantasy books. One image that has always stuck with me from one of those series (The Seeker of Truth by Terry Goodkind, if you’re curious) is a pebble in the pond. Throw a pebble in a pond full of still water and it will send ripples throughout the pond. Everything in that pond will be affected by that one small pebble, even if it’s only in tiny ways. 

That’s your practice. The thing that lets you respond with kindness when you could have been cruel, that helps you stay calm when you could panic, that lets you see what you’re working toward even when what you’re doing is harder than you could imagine.

We all need more people marked by practice. People to uphold the virtues we take refuge in – and to create the communities that see us through the difficult times and help the good times grow. 

Does it sound a little too good to be true? 

Well… the pebble in the pond can’t see the ripple carry food to a fish, spread the seeds of a plant, or stir oxygen into the water. 

Just because you can’t see the differences you’re making right now, doesn’t mean they aren’t there. Your practice matters. Your meditation matters. 

There are a million reasons holding to your practice is important, but I want to talk about one more. 

So far we’ve talked about how meditation and practice in our fast paced modern world is a radical act. We’ve talked about how your practice can help you handle difficult times. We’ve talked about how your practice can have a profound impact on the people around you. Well, one of those impacts is giving people an example of living in the now. If you’re walking the noble eightfold path, each of those tenants is an example to others. 

Sometimes we call this by different names. Living in your truth. Being present. Self-confidence. 

What we call it matters less than the impact it has. Specifically, every time you are in the moment, use right speech or right action, align your intent and your response, you are an example. Proof that it is possible to be grounded in the now, facing a challenge, and still do what’s right. 

We all need that example. We all need to know it’s possible to live out what we believe in, to hold to our values, and act in alignment with what we know to be right – no matter what comes. 

We live in an imperfect world, and not everyone gets that example. 

We can choose to be the example. We can choose practice, groundedness, and now. 

Opportunities to Dive Into Practice

 

If you’re looking for a deeper examination of how your practice can help you rise to meet difficult times there are a few upcoming online retreats from teachers far more qualified than I am to address the topic.
The first is Being Resourced for These Times with Caverly Morgan. The retreat will combine teachings, guided meditation, and simple tools you can use to bridge practice and daily life – even in difficult times.

Next on the calendar is Samatha Meditation to Develop Concentration and Serenity for a Chaotic World with Tina Rasmussen. This deep dive into Samatha meditation will give you time and space to practice, connect your meditation to the scientific research and impact of meditation practice, and examine common hindrances and barriers to meditation and how we can approach them productively. 

I look forward to diving into my own practice, and I hope to see you, sometime, somewhere, walking your path with grace, compassion, and grounded presence.